


The True Story of the Day I Was the Goodest Dog in the World, by me, Sgt. Stubby

by someitems



Category: Heroic Dogs (Real Puppy Fic)
Genre: Gen, World War I, gas attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 14:46:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17024646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someitems/pseuds/someitems
Summary: "This is the destiny of every dog. To one day, be the goodest dog in the whole world. And you have to be ready."Sgt. Stubby tells his pups about his wartime heroics.





	The True Story of the Day I Was the Goodest Dog in the World, by me, Sgt. Stubby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jedi_penguin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedi_penguin/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, jedipenguin! I had so much fun learning about Sgt. Stubby, a true American hero, and writing from the point of view of a dog. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Content note: this work contains oblique references to mustard gas attacks, bombing, and shooting. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who told me "No, of course not, that sounds great" when I asked them if it was ridiculous to try to write a story as a dog, and to my Yuletide-veteran friends for encouragement.

Hello new little friends! You are such good little friends. When you grow up, I really think you will have good ears, and good faces for sniffing. I’m so proud I helped make you! You turned out so well.

It’s your favorite time! The time when I come to give you dog lessons. We’ve already learned so many important things. For example we learned barking yesterday, I really think you will get the hang of it soon. We did naps, and you are already nap experts. But today is a different kind of time. It’s the time when I tell you the story of the day I was the goodest dog in the whole world. It’s a very important story and you have to listen. We can do snoozes after we listen but we have to listen first, okay?

You are very new at being dogs, so you don’t know yet. But here’s the thing. Every dog has a day when they are the goodest dog in the whole world. Maybe they helped a human cross the street. Maybe they licked up the water that came out of a human’s face. Maybe they were the first to find a whole new place to roll around in. Anyway. This is the destiny of every dog. To one day, be the goodest dog in the whole world. And you have to be ready. Otherwise you will miss it. Just like you have to be ready when the humans start eating food, in case they drop some. 

Anyway. The day when I was the goodest dog in the whole world. It was a long time ago. The longest possible time ago ever. Before there was this nice place to sleep with all these soft things. Back when Best Human still had fur on his head and before his face looked like the blanket does when you crawl underneath it. 

So. In this longlonglong time ago. I found Best Human one day. Best Human and all his friends were living in this big wide place with white, white buildings, and every kind of corner for hiding. There were so many squirrels here. One day I even caught one, and that day I thought I was the goodest dog in the world, but I didn’t even know that so many other things would happen. Anyway. That day, after I finally caught the squirrel, I found Best Human. He and all the other humans were taking themselves on a walk, up and down, up and down. It was a very silly walk, and I thought, I am so much better at walks than you are. So I rushed right out to help them out. I’m very helpful.

Next thing I know, all these humans swarm around me, making noises like “Good dog! Good feller!” and scritching my ears. These humans were so good at scritches. They scritched me like I’d never been scritched before. And after I was done rolling around on my back and getting good good scritches on my tum, I tried to explain to them that they were walking in such a silly way. “You can see way more squirrels if you go in between those trees,” I said.

They didn’t listen. Humans never do, you have to be very firm with them. “He can sleep in my tent,” said one of them. “I’ll call him Stubby.” And that’s the day I found Best Human. He let me sleep in his tent—that’s a thing like a big blanket, with another blanket on sticks inside, and sometimes humans need to sleep in there for reasons. I don’t know, human reasons. 

Anyway, why was I telling you this? Oh right. The day I was the goodest dog in the world. Well, we left that place, and they took me in a big, shaky metal place across a big, big water. There were no trees and no grass and we shook and shook for days, stuck inside this round metal world. It wasn’t all bad, though. There were rats there, too. I caught as many as I could find. 

Finally we were back on land, and I couldn’t wait to go back to explores and adventures and catching whatever animals I could find. (I wanted to give Best Human the best ever present.) But it turned out we were going to have a different kind of time. I didn’t know why. But all the humans were so serious about everything. When I woke Best Human up every morning with my very best lick to the face, he looked in my eyes with a sad, sad look. Like every squirrel had run away from him. All of Best Human’s friends dug a big hole in the mud, but they didn’t bury anything in it. They just sat there, waiting and looking scared. Sometimes there would be the biggest and worst noise ever, like screaming and wailing and whooshing overhead. Everyone would duck and hide, because it was the worst noise of all time. Sometimes there would also be a thump, and then another whoosh. I curled up into a ball with my head between my legs because I didn't want to be gotten by this horrible horrible noise. Sometimes there was a different kind of yelling, not like the kind that Best Human and his friends did, and little bangs all around. We hid then, too, and stayed very very very quiet.

I don’t know what we were waiting for. The mail, maybe, or another human to come. We waited a long, long time. Waiting is boring, so I had to make up a lot of games to do. For instance, a very good game to do if you are waiting is to run around fastfastfast, as fast as you can, until you catch your tail or you fall over, whichever happens first. Another good game is Loud Barks, but the humans didn’t like that one so much, so I had to stop. Sometimes I played Find the Smells, and there were a lot of interesting ones in that hole. I got very good at smelling. This turned out to be important.

Okay, stop barking at me, I _promise_ I’m getting to the point. You wouldn’t have understood what I was saying if you didn’t hear the rest of it! You don’t know about mud or tents or anything! Anyway. Anyway. This is the part where the story gets really good, so listen up.

One morning it was so so quiet. Too quiet. I was just getting up to do my morning stretches and get ready to lick Best Human awake when I smelled it. A different smell than all the ones I had been finding. The worst smell in the whole world. It made my nose feel like a million tiny sharp things were inside it and my mouth feel like it was shriveling up. And that’s when I knew. This was Bad.

All the humans were still sleeping like they couldn’t even smell it. Human noses are very silly. So I ran, ran, ran all over the place and did every bark I could think of and pushed the humans until they woke up. They woke up kind of slow and strange, like they didn’t know why they were awake, and then they must have smelled the worst smell too, because they suddenly stood up and ran around too. The awake humans and me helped wake up the rest of the humans and they all did the same thing, slow and then a fast jump up. 

“We have to get out of here,” Best Human yelled. He picked me up and we all climbed out of the hole and ran, ran, ran some more until there were all these trees and we couldn’t smell the smell anymore. I took the biggest breaths ever, pantpantpant, smelling good air and trees and a rabbit nearby. I thought maybe I would go find the rabbit, and see if anyone needed it. 

But then Best Human pushed his face into my head and gave me a little kiss right on the top of my head, and he yelled, “Three cheers for Stubby, he saved our lives!”

“Hip, hip, hooray!” yelled the other humans, and then it was like that day when I first found them, everybody crowding around for scritches and pats and belly rubs. I couldn’t even see anything else, just all the humans and their happy faces, like I’d done something really really good. 

“Who’s the best dog,” the humans said. “You’re the best dog, yes you are Stubby, yes you are. The best dog in the whole world.” 

And those are the best words a dog will ever hear. One day you’ll hear them too. One day it will be your turn to be the goodest dogs in the world. And as long as you try to be the best dog you can be every day, you’ll be ready.

Okay, that’s enough dog lessons for today. We can do naps now. There’s a really nice patch of sunlight for snoozing over there. Let’s curl up and dream about squirrels until next time.


End file.
